Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Jesus was A Vampire!

haha look what i found on imdb.com

im just posting the thread

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Jesus was a vamp

by twilighted 5 hours ago (Tue May 13 2008 02:17:43) Ignore this User | Report Abuse

UPDATED Tue May 13 2008 02:22:19

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we all know vampire were around in those years known as BC. In this time aro, marcus and cauis were carefully constructing their warm and loving family that would later become known as the volturi.

fast forward a few years later, and a lovely lady known as Mary claims she fell pregnant without having sex, a similar thing happened between JD and Kim on the tv show scrubs, although unlike on scrubs mary didnt want to admit she was jerking josephs gherkin. Instead she decided to claim an imaculet conception, with God becoming the father.

On December 25th a boy named Jesus was born. Being the alleged son of God (paternity tests weren't around at this time) was tough on him, and many people formed mean hate clubs against him. then the unthinkable happen, a pilot wanted jesus executed on the cross!

aro, marcus and cauis saw jesus' potential and relised he must be changed. Before he was put on the cross aro bit jesus and injected him with his venom, as jesus went up on the cross he yelled "i thirst!". believers brought him sponges soaked in water on a stick and pushed them up towards his mouth, little did they know he was referring to blood.

After hiding out in a cave for 3 days jesus got kinda bored, as you would, and decided to leave. because of his new incredible vampire strength he was able to easily push the boulder away and run free to live a vampire life.

:)

Re: Jesus was a vamp

by mcleods_daughters_obsess 5 hours ago (Tue May 13 2008 02:22:18) Ignore this User | Report Abuse


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I lol'd at the title

Easy to find what's wrong, harder to find what's right Cullenism - Our New Religion T~O 203

Re: Jesus was a vamp

by isobellamagpie89 5 hours ago (Tue May 13 2008 02:23:47) Ignore this User | Report Abuse


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I lol'd at the amount of time this must have taken!



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I hope your fairytales are true
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Re: Jesus was a vamp

by mcleods_daughters_obsess 5 hours ago (Tue May 13 2008 02:26:04) Ignore this User | Report Abuse


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I lol'd at lots of things

Easy to find what's wrong, harder to find what's right Cullenism - Our New Religion T~O 203

Re: Jesus was a vamp

by Bella_Swan 4 hours ago (Tue May 13 2008 03:29:05) Ignore this User | Report Abuse


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Hahaha He really was a vampire!

Married to: Serena, Sarah, Alexandra & Morigyn
T~O Destined = <3
AUS~TFC-Kim
NCDCBFC

Re: Jesus was a vamp

by cbtousley 4 hours ago (Tue May 13 2008 03:30:26) Ignore this User | Report Abuse


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Ah, it all makes sense now!


T~O #194
Rob/Peter's Mafia-The Pooper Scooper-Makin' it hit the fan.

Re: Jesus was a vamp

by isobellamagpie89 4 hours ago (Tue May 13 2008 03:30:35) Ignore this User | Report Abuse

UPDATED Tue May 13 2008 04:01:23

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i know i lol'd but i am actually disgusted with this kind of blasphemy.
WWJD (What would Jasper Do).

* NOT WRITTEN BY ME MY "FRIENDS" ARE NOOOBS*





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I hope your fairytales are true
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Re: Jesus was a vamp

by Bella_Swan 4 hours ago (Tue May 13 2008 03:32:26) Ignore this User | Report Abuse


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Jasper would probably laugh too, he's a vampire, he wouldn't really care for religious meanings anymore. The only one who seems to really care is Carlisle, all because of his Daddy.

Married to: Serena, Sarah, Alexandra & Morigyn
T~O Destined = <3
AUS~TFC-Kim
NCDCBFC

Re: Jesus was a vamp

by isobellamagpie89 4 hours ago (Tue May 13 2008 04:02:54) Ignore this User | Report Abuse


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Jesus did manage to move that massive rock from in front... and pretty sure he "appeared pale" to people on the walky thing he did later....

*looks around for jesus today* HIIIIIII JESUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS





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I hope your fairytales are true
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Re: Jesus was a vamp

by CharmingBexi 4 hours ago (Tue May 13 2008 04:12:45) Ignore this User | Report Abuse


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I cant wait to tell my RE teacher this one!

UK~TFC
Cullenism: My religion
[BL][T~O][R~M][NCDCBFC]
CULLEN MEN

Re: Jesus was a vamp

by emoTWiLiGHT 3 hours ago (Tue May 13 2008 04:27:20) Ignore this User | Report Abuse


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Nice story.
It's not true, but very creative. :)

i LOVE EDWARD CULLEN!
T~NM~E32
Twilaholic65
T~O922
[penguin]
BITE ME CULLEN ;] UK~TFC

Re: Jesus was a vamp

by twilighted 18 minutes ago (Tue May 13 2008 07:55:28) Ignore this User | Report Abuse


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it is true!! how could you say its not true? all the signs are there!

Re: Jesus was a vamp

by Resilient_Aura7689 4 minutes ago (Tue May 13 2008 08:09:51) Ignore this User | Report Abuse


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OP, you just made my day worth while. hahaha.

--Devin
"She ... sees... feels... things differently.. I wish I had never seen her face"
Team Switzerland

Re: Jesus was a vamp

by kesslina-twin 32 seconds ago (Tue May 13 2008 08:13:19)


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haha, nice
Jesus was a vampire, thats how it all was.
the end/

~Bella Kayy


btw Bella Kayy/kesslina-twin is me